I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
