Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
