i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
