she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
