he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
