Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize