so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
