I'm gonna have a badass scar
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
