New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
