Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I can text with my tongue
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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