Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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