I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
