I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I need a burrito and a hug.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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