is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
why do cheetos always look like penises
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
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