my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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