What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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