you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just blew my weed a kiss
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
