Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
