I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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