fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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