I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
