I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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