Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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