Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
