If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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