Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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