He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
