I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
