Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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