My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
This toilet bowl is my home.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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