I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
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Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize