I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
