I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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