This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
