Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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