would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
