alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize