She said her name was "party"
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
