YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
