last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
