She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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