theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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