I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
