..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
