Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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