apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize