ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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