you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
