HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
