I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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