So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
