Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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