No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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