She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Randomize
