Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
