I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
