we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
