I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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