She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
