Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
