Already got asked if we're dating
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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